Never right after that...

Italians love tragedy, I dont have any great insight into why, for the same reason they are hypochondriacs, I suppose... Anyway, one aspect of tragedy that is especially important to the Italian psyche is the idea of lifelong scars. My father knew tons of people who were "never right" after their fiance died in a car crash, their husband left them for a flight attendant, they lost a finger in a jewelry press...

I'm beginning to think I may be one of these people. I seem well enough on the outside, but I'm not right at all in the aftermath of my parents dying. I cant cook a single thing of interest and most people seem afraid of me, actually I'm a bit afraid of myself.

I have no consolation of faith although I go through the motions for the kiddos.

I dont know at all where to begin with their things and I sincerely doubt what little expertise I possess is going to be enough to help us.

I am so tired. I just want to hide in the sand, literally and figuratively.